


I'm Home (bbangkyu ver.)

by fluffypurry



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Beaches, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, First Crush, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Medicine, Sad Ending, Sick Character, changmin and younghoon live in incheon, fluff before angst, goodness i write too much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-20 11:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22016578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffypurry/pseuds/fluffypurry
Summary: Younghoon finally met Changmin after years being separated. He hid his sickness from Changmin. For Younghoon, Changmin is his home and will always be.In the other hand, Changmin has always been in love with the older. He didn't suspect anything, until he saw Younghoon is in deep pain. With his own eyes seeing Younghoon swallowing uncountable pills.“If I say I'll comeback again, will you still believe it?”“If I were you, I wouldn't believe it.”
Relationships: Ji Changmin | Q/Kim Younghoon
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	I'm Home (bbangkyu ver.)

“If I say I'll comeback again, will you still believe it?”

Changmin fidgeted his fingers when Younghoon asked him that question. They were just kids, where did Younghoon learn to say things like that?

Well, he probably heard it from a song played in radio.

“I don't know, Seoul is too far and I guess you won't comeback...,” 7 years old Changmin pouted. 8 years old Younghoon frowns when he saw Changmin is unsure about him.

“I'll come back!” Younghoon made a peace sign with his pale fingers, his face was full of determination. “I'll receive treatment and be as healthy as ever! When I comeback, I'll say 'I'm Home', you must reply me. It's a promise!”

.  
.

Changmin rolled on his bed lazily. There's nothing like snuggling in blanket on rainy day, with a cup of coffee, snacks, and playing game on his phone. It's vacation anyway, he'll be back in college two weeks later. For now, it’s time for him to rest.

He groaned when he loses a battle. Damn enemies are always so hard to kill. Changmin frowned, his hand reaching another snack. Just as he wanted to tore the packaging, his door was knocked by Mrs. Ji.

“Chang- oh my god!” Mrs. Ji pointed at Changmin’s shown tummy, phone, and snacks. “Your tummy is showing, pull your sleeveless shirt down. Changmin, you've been in your room for too long! Playing games... and those snacks are too much, you shouldn’t eat so many!”

Mrs. Ji burst into the room and grab Changmin’s snacks. Changmin frowned, lips pouting and tilting his head cutely.

“That won't do. I'm immune to your aegyo. If you show that to your boyfriend, he might be giving you snacks. But me? No,” Mrs. Ji take all the packages from his bead. Changmin puffed his cheeks then sat on his bed, scratching his head.

“You know I don't have boyfriend.”

“Right. You're still in love with your childhood friend.”

Changmin’s pout didn’t go from his face though his cheeks flushed. Mrs. Ji looked at Changmin before opening his wardrobe and pull some of his best clothes. Changmin was astonished seeing his clothes flying to his bed. “Mom, I just arranged those clothes,” Changmin picked up his shirt. “What are these for?”

“Oh, that shirt looks good on you. Your childhood friend slash crush will be staying here for a week...,” Mrs. Ji laughed as Changmin opened his mouth, shocked by the news. “Younghoon will be here shortly.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?!” Changmin jumped out of his bed. He quickly grab the shirt and a matching jeans.

“I told you three days ago, but you didn’t really pay attention. Not my fault!” Mrs. Ji giggled then walk to the door. When she turn her head to Changmin, she found her son puffing cheeks and shooing her away. “I’m baking cookies right now. You should at least sat in our living room, don't play your phone here.”

“Sure, I'm going downstairs later,” Changmin nodded. He stared at his messy room and started to make the bed and shoving all the empty water bottles to the garbage bin. His dog stayed calm on the floor, half sleeping half staring at Changmin. He stopped for a moment. Why did he clean his room? It's not like Younghoon will come to his room. Changmin shrugged off and mumbles, “Just in case...”

He then changed from his sleeveless shirt to a clean and well ironed, shirt. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. Changmin touch his hair and wonder, should he style his hair?

It's been more than a decade since he met Younghoon. All he could feel beside happy is nervous. He decided not to style his hair. What if Younghoon thinks that he prepared too much just to meet him? What if Younghoon isn’t happy that Changmin is obsessed in looking handsome in front of him? He probably like him in casual better.

Changmin laughed a little. What is this feeling?

When they were children, they'll wear the comfiest clothes, hair messy and slightly brown because they played too much outside, they would play at the beach until they covered in sand. Now that he's much older, he wanted to look neat and perfect in front of him.

He then went downstairs. Changmin found his mother in the kitchen, holding a tray of freshly baked cookies. Mrs. Ji called Changmin, “Can you help me? Please put these in a jar.”

Changmin nodded as he fetch a jar from the kitchen cabinets. He put in nice looking cookies carefully so it won’t break or crack. Of course he also put some in his mouth without Mrs. Ji noticing.

His mother made sure their living room is tidy. Changmin brought the full jar to the living room. It was when their bell rang, Changmin almost tripped because he's too overwhelmed by the fact that his crush is here. Kim Younghoon is here!

Mrs. Ji opened the door and hugged Mrs. Kim. They screamed happily and giggled, just like little girls when they meet their best friend. Changmin stood behind his mother, his mind suddenly blank when he saw his childhood friend.

Younghoon was smiling shyly. Covered in overly big white sweater, he looks so comfy and soft. Changmin opened his mouth like a koi fish. His memories of Younghoon wearing dirty shirt and brownish hair faded, changed by Younghoon in white sweater. Looking angelic and pure.

“I-I’m home, Changmin,” Younghoon talked as if he's afraid to say something wrong. He can't look at Changmin right in the eye, hands shaking.

“Oh-”

Changmin’s memories of them flashed. He's too overwhelmed by memories and quickly held Younghoon’s shaking hand to make it stop. He caressed the other's hand before flashing his sweet smile.

“Welcome home.”

.  
.

They sat on Changmin’s bed. Awkward. Changmin played with his dog- Ghana, and Younghoon just glanced at the younger without saying anything. Their mothers were talking nonstop and Mrs. Ji told Changmin to show Younghoon around their house. Changmin snickered hearing that, his house isn’t exhibition, what should he show to him?

“So- you're better now?”

“Um?”

“Your health...”

“Well, the most important thing is I don't feel anything painful right now...,” Younghoon smiled. Changmin felt attacked, he swears, it's probably the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. He kept staring at Younghoon’s lips. How can it produce such lovely smile?

“You’re still the same,” Changmin stood up and head to his wardrobe. “Even when a decade past, you're looking almost the same.”

“I changed though?” Younghoon giggled. “My hair became darker, I'm also pale. Mom said it's because I don’t go on the outside anymore...”

Changmin opened his wardrobe and bend his body to find a picture he's been hiding. He found it after a minute. A picture of him and Younghoon playing on the beach, making sand castle with toys on their hands. Changmin put the picture Younghoon’s hand.

“Look at your cheeks back then, aww!” Younghoon cooed at the picture. He stared at Changmin’s cheeks and pouted. “Hmm, now it's gone.”

“I was so ugly...”

Younghoon frowned, “Who told you that?”

Changmin gulped. Himself. It's his insecurities. 

Younghoon noticed Changmin won’t answer and heave a sigh. “Listen, back then you’re very cute.”

Changmin nodded before throwing himself to his bed. His ears red, glad Younghoon didn’t notice since Changmin is behind his back. “Thank you.”

Another awkward silence surrounds them. Younghoon was having fun with the picture. It's been minutes since he stared but guess he won't ever get bored. Changmin looked at Younghoon’s shoulder.

He hesitated to put his head on the latter’s shoulder. It was his habit when they were just a child. Will Younghoon be okay? Is it too fast? He might get uncomfortable with the skinship...

“Changmin.”

“Um hum?” Changmin rolled and turn his head to Younghoon. He saw the latter got a pouty lips with shy gaze though he could only glance at Younghoon from the back. The latter put the picture on the night stand.

“Don’t be so tense around me. We're best friends...,” Younghoon pouted. He is too cute to handle. Lips puckering, arms crossed, and he let out a soft 'umm' under his breath. “It’s been so long since we met. Probably we'll be awkward, sometimes shaking and nervous, even stuttering when we talk. I missed you so much, don't be too far like that...”

Changmin blinked for a second before he smirked and sat up. He nuzzled his head to Younghoon’s shoulder. Younghoon tensed up which Changmin giggled because of it. “You said we should be comfortable...”

Younghoon covered his face. “Too fast, silly!”

“Oh, you're just like your younger self, calling me ‘silly' like that! Unforgivable!” Changmin playfully made a roaring sound, like a lion. Younghoon laughed when Changmin pushed him down to the bed, still acting like a lion with its prey.

Younghoon’s cheeks are such perfect spot to attack. Changmin pinched them, softly- scared that he might hurt the latter. Pinkish blush spread on both of Younghoon’s cheeks that were pale. He giggled nonstop and pushed Changmin’s hand to make him stop. “Dwon’t pench me, swilly!”

“Uh, what did you say?” Changmin smiled and squished Younghoon’s cheeks. He cooed on how Younghoon looking really cute, talking like a baby when he pinched the latter’s cheeks. When Changmin finally let his hands go, Younghoon quickly sat up and cupped his own cheeks. As if he wants to protect the cute pale cheeks of him from a roaring lion.

“Pinching cheeks is no no!”

They stared at each other like cats in the middle of fight, before they laughed and laid their bodies on Changmin’s bed. “Anyway, you'll be staying here for...?”

“A week,” Younghoon huffed as he face Changmin, nose scrunched up. “You know, after I discharged from hospital, I quickly went to Incheon. To see you.”

“You should’ve see your friends in Seoul. Not seeing me,” Changmin pointed to Younghoon’s chest. The latter frowned. The older chewed his lips as he looked into Changmin’s eyes.

“My friends were doctors, nurses, and other patients on the same floor of my room. I met them all the time, Changmin,” Younghoon stopped chewing his lips and smiled. “I want to meet you...”

Changmin ruffled Younghoon’s hair. “Right, thank you for coming here...”

They both shared a cheeky smile. Though they were silent, it's no longer awkward. They found each other's beating hearts were calming, even the other’s breath was soothing. Changmin couldn’t help but to let out a contented sigh.

Laying beside Younghoon was perfect. He glanced at the latter who closed his eyes and smiled, looking peaceful. How to describe him? Beautiful. Ethereal. An angel that fell from heaven.

.  
.

That evening, after dinner, Mrs. Kim left. She teared up as she stroked Younghoon’s cheeks and kiss his locks multiple times. She whispered something that made Younghoon frowns before hugging his mother and saying he loves her more than she could imagine and he'll be okay.

Changmin watched them from afar. Mrs. Kim must be really worried for Younghoon. He just discharged from hospital and went here because the latter wanted to meet his childhood friend. She can't stay because she had to work tomorrow, sadly.

Younghoon rubbed his eyes when he finally release the hug. Mrs. Kim turned his head at Changmin and held his hands, asking him to take care of Younghoon. Changmin smiled and assured her, he gently squeezed her hands.

Mrs. Kim really left after receive another hug from Mrs. Ji. Younghoon chewed his lips and tugged Changmin’s shirt when his mother's car slowly disappear from his sight. Changmin patted the other's shoulder.

His habit when he tried to suppress his tears from falling. Chewing lips, slightly scratch his head, he'd unconsciously sigh a lot.

“We should arrange your belongings,” said Changmin. “You’ll be sleeping in my room. I'll prepare extra bed...”

Younghoon nodded. They went upstairs, Younghoon went Changmin’s room while Changmin went to take an extra bed. Younghoon sat on the bed and stared at the picture for the nth time. He then remembered what his mother said, Younghoon quickly jumped out of the bed and rummage his own bag.

He gulped seeing countless medicine he had to swallow. Younghoon glanced at the door. He swallowed it all before Changmin could see him. Changmin would worry and treat him like a sick person if he saw Younghoon with those pills.

He almost had a heart attack when the door is slammed open. Younghoon turned his head to find Changmin who probably kicked the door to open it because his hands were full. Glad he already put those medicine deep into his bag.

Changmin placed the extra bed. He smiled as he look at the latter’s who’s sweating, “I'll be sleeping here.”

“W-what? You got your own bed here, I'll be sleeping on the extra bed!” Younghoon frowned.

“Now shush, I WILL sleep here,” Changmin pointed at the extra bed. Younghoon knew he can't argue with the other so he just nodded with a frowning face. Changmin giggled and changed his clothes to a pajamas, followed by Younghoon.

They head to bathroom together. To wash their face and brush their teeth, of course. Younghoon can't help but to giggle when he saw their reflection in the mirror, “Feels like a sleepover.”

“Well, it is, duh?”

Younghoon smiled. He stared at his toothbrush before point it to Changmin. “I mean, It really feels like I'm back to childhood. We used to do sleepover a lot. We'd brush our teeth together. Ah, but back then, your mom is watching us to make sure we really brushed our teeth!”

Changmin grinned as he agrees on what Younghoon said. He sometimes stole a glance to the latter. Younghoon brushed his teeth happily, little bit humming a popular song. They splashed water at each other when they’re washing their face. Giggling and laughing like a children.

Everything was fine, but when they finally laid on their bed- Younghoon on Changmin’s bed meanwhile Changmin on the extra bed, the ethereal boy couldn’t sleep even after a tiring day. The bed was too big for him alone. He bit his lips before sat and turned his face to Changmin. The younger is also awake, with his phone's brightness shining his face and sometimes smiling. Probably watching videos or reading something online.

“Changmin...”

“Yes?” Changmin glanced at the latter for a second before turning off his phone. Younghoon fidgeted his fingers.

“I can't sleep,” Younghoon sighed, he stared at the younger. “Can’t you accompany me here? The bed is too big...”

Changmin stopped for a moment. His cheeks were flushed, fortunately the lamps were turned off so Younghoon couldn’t see changes on his face. Changmin mumbled, “You sure? How about me singing you a lullaby from here?”

Younghoon shook his head and plead, “Be here, please?”

Changmin couldn’t resist Younghoon’s plea. He stood up, bringing his pillow, and sat on the corner of his bed. His heart beats so fast he thought his chest would burst. In silence, Changmin felt like he could hear his heart echoing. He became worry- the older, could he hear his heart making such festive sound?

Younghoon opened his blanket as if asking Changmin to enter. Changmin held his chest to calm down. When he finally laid down beside Younghoon, the latter sighed and smiled. Changmin didn’t face Younghoon, he turned his back on him.

Changmin almost died when he felt Younghoon’s forehead on his back. Did the older just lean his forehead against Changmin’s back?

They were both silent. Changmin could feel Younghoon’s calm breath and he's getting sleepy. Probably Younghoon is asleep after minutes later. 

Changmin muttered to himself, “Goodnight...”

.  
.

The day after was spent by them in Changmin's room. Sleeping and literally doing nothing. Younghoon watched a movie on Changmin's phone while the younger read his comics. They both laid on the bed lazily. Mrs. Ji let them, she's afraid that Younghoon is still tired from his long trip yesterday.

Changmin was full of reaction while reading. Younghoon hid his giggle when he saw Changmin's face continuously changing, from smiling to furrowing brows, he sometimes laugh but also pouting.

The movie was finished. Younghoon decided to arrange his clothes and place them inside Changmin's wardrobe. The younger told him that he already emptied a place for him. Younghoon is going to stay for a week, there’s no way for him to keep his clothes in his bag. It'll be messy and inefficient.

“Want me to help?”

“No, there are things you can't see!” Younghoon blushed. He held his bag like it’s the most precious thing in the world.

“Undies?” Changmin teased, making Younghoon red to his ears. “You saw mine this morning though...”

“It's accidentally! Silly!” Younghoon tossed a shirt to Changmin's face. The younger grinned before laughing. He folded the shirt that flew to him and gave it to Younghoon. He let the latter to arrange his clothes himself. It'll be weird and impolite if he force Younghoon to let him help when the older already reject him.

Younghoon hummed. Changmin glanced at the clock. It's almost dinner time. Just as he thought that, Mrs. Ji knocked on Changmin's door. “Changmin, dinner is almost ready. Can you help me prepare the table?”

The younger looked at Younghoon who smiled at him while folding his shirts. Changmin stood up, “I’ll be there in a sec.” Younghoon nodded as Changmin gestured that he could arrange his clothes and join them later when the food is ready.

Changmin walk downstairs to prepare the table. He arranged chopsticks and spoons neatly. Mrs. Ji put the pot on the table. “Any plan for tomorrow?”

Changmin shook his head, “No, I guess?”

Mrs. Ji sighed, “He’s probably okay now. Don't make him exhausted though. You should bring him to somewhere tomorrow. A hangout! A date!”

Changmin made a small nod. Not much longer, light steps from the stairs could be heard. Younghoon tilted his head as he looked at the mother and son.

They had dinner together. Mrs. Ji always start conversations with Younghoon. How did he spent his time in hospital, what did he do when he's bored, why he loves to use sweaters or hoodies than sleeveless shirts like Changmin.

The younger smiled hearing them chat. His heart felt really warm. He stared at two of the most precious persons in his life as he chew and swallow his food. They both talk nonstop and giggle when there's something funny. Changmin finished eating faster than the others, which is not the usual. Probably because his mother and Younghoon talked to much and eat even slower than him.

Seeing Changmin finished eating, Younghoon tried to eat as fast as he could without choking. It's Changmin's turn to talk to his mother, though it's mainly Mrs. Ji who talked and the younger just nodded. He was so distracted by Younghoon’s puffed cheeks that were filled by food.

He's really cute. He looks like he have pouch to store food in his cheeks. Younghoon noticed Changmin had been staring at him, he looked back at the younger then smiled.

Lord, save Changmin from heart attack.

“I'm going upstairs, okay?” Changmin stood, went upstairs, and disappear from Mrs. Ji and Younghoon’s sight. Mrs. Ji put down her chopsticks when she's done eating. She looked at Younghoon who is still chewing his food.

“Younghoon, don't forget your meds. Take them after this, dear.”

After they finished Mrs. Ji clean up everything. Younghoon offer his help but she rejected him, saying it's not a problem and she could do it herself. Younghoon quickly went upstairs after thanking Changmin’s mother for the meal and said goodnight to her.

Changmin is not in his room. He bit his lips and wonder where Changmin is. He saw the bathroom is empty before. He squatted to where he put his bag and rummage the inside of it. Probably it's coincidence, but it's actually nice that Changmin isn’t in his room. He could swallow the countless medicine without Changmin seeing him.

He hurriedly put them back deep inside his bag although there isn’t any sign of Changmin going back to the room. Younghoon went out from Changmin's room and noticed that the door to the balcony is slightly opened.

“Ah, that must be it.”

He grabbed a blanket from Changmin’s bed. He tiptoed to the balcony, he tried really hard not to make sound when he pushed the door. Changmin is sitting on a large bench made from wood didn’t notice Younghoon is standing behind him yet.

Younghoon put the blanket on Changmin’s shoulder. The younger jumped a little but then his face soften when he saw it's the latter. Younghoon giggled, “What are you doing here?”

Younghoon sat beside Changmin. The younger pulled him closer so they shared the blanket together. That night was up pretty cold, the sky was clear and stars twinkled beautifully. Changmin sighed, “I’m not sure myself.”

Changmin stared at Younghoon. There are times when his heart flutters, of course, the latter is his crush, but on top of that he's still his best friend. He doesn’t want to make Younghoon uncomfortable by distancing himself just because his heart is thumping madly.

The older was really warm and snug beside Changmin. He even laid his head on Changmin’s shoulder.

“Let’s play.”

“What game?”

“Truth or dare, just 2 rounds...,” Younghoon giggled as he snug closer to Changmin.

“Then I'll be the first,” Changmin laughed. “Truth.”

Younghoon tapped his chin as he think of what he should ask to Changmin. They stared into the dark sky. Stars were really bright, Changmin swear even the pretty stars couldn’t even match with Younghoon’s ethereal face. “What was your first impressions on me when I came here yesterday?”

“You changed,” Changmin answered Younghoon's question without hesitating. “Ah, I didn’t mean it in bad way. You were tanner than you are now. You used to wear shirts than oversized sweater like this, look at you...”

“I feel really comfortable in this...,” Younghoon stared at his own clothes. His lips pursed as he glance at Changmin.

“I didn’t mean it in bad way, Younghoon. You're look great,” Changmin gave Younghoon a pat on his shoulder. It made Younghoon blushes and look away. The older huffed and clasp his hands.

“Okay, I'm satisfied with my question. It's my turn now, I choose truth!”

“What did you miss the most when you're hospitalized?”

Younghoon opened his mouth like a koi fish before closing it again. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, head tilting and eyebrows furrowed. Changmin found the face Younghoon make when he's thinking hard is amusing.

So cute.

“It would be home, for sure,” Younghoon looked at Changmin who gave him a questioning face. “Because, even if I've been hospitalized for years, even when it start to feel like my second home..., I still miss my home.”

Younghoon stopped talking for a moment to look at Changmin’s face.

“I really want to have a home where I could say, ‘I'm home!' or ‘I'm leaving!'. I want to say, ‘be careful on your way' or maybe, 'don’t forget to buy eggs before coming home’. I want to do those...”

Changmin nodded. It was simple yet probably for Younghoon, it means the world. Not having home and being away from family, Changmin couldn’t imagine if he was in the latter’s shoe. He just want a home where he could be comfortable and safe, live happily like others with family.

“This is your home,” Changmin pinched Younghoon’s cheek to remove the sad expression from his face. “Make yourself at home.”

“Now let go of my cheeks, silly!”

“Nah, you’re calling me silly. Which means more pinch you deserve!” Changmin laughed when he could pinch both cheeks and pull it. Younghoon became flushed and start pushing Changmin's hand. Softly. Because in fact, they both want the skinship.

“Let's just start the second round and finish this...”

Changmin released the latter's cheek, “Dare.”

Younghoon's eyes lit up. He grinned at Changmin. He turn his back on him and giggled, “Massage me!”

“What kind of dare is that...,” Changmin huffed but still, his hand reaches for Younghoon’s back before massaging him gently. Younghoon enjoyed being massaged and close his eyes. “Goodness, Younghoon! Stop moaning!”

“But it's- ah... it's really good!” Younghoon frowned though Changmin couldn’t see his face. Changmin's hand move near his armpit to tease the latter. Younghoon jumped a little then turn his body, he playfully punch Changmin.

“It’s your turn. I'll keep massaging you, don’t worry.”

“Truth, then.”

“Tell me one of your secret,” Changmin could feel Younghoon’s body tensed up through his hands. Younghoon gulped. Which secret should he tell Changmin? At this point he already hid so much from Changmin. The younger keep massaging Younghoon to make him little bit relax. “Sorry, was it too hard? Let me change my quest-“

“Actually, I’m an angel.”

Younghoon blurted out and turn his back to face Changmin. The younger stopped massaging and pout. “Excuse me, but it's definitely a lie.”

“Fine. I never dated,” Younghoon hid his face and peek at Changmin. His face flushed as he muttered, “I’m curious on how date feels like...”

Changmin stood up and remove the blanket from his body. He softly wrap Younghoon with the blanket. He reach out for Younghoon's hands and pull him to help him stand, “Let's sleep now.”

“Eh? It's done?”

“I’ll take you on date tomorrow. Now, you should charge your energy by sleeping early.”

Younghoon nodded. He put a shy smile on his face before covering his mouth with the blanket. The older followed Changmin as if he's a little chick and Changmin is the momma chicken. He's covered in blanket which Changmin wrapped him before. Rather than his body, his cheeks and felt warm the most. It was reddish, so he keep covering his mouth and hopefully Changmin didn’t see.

.  
.

“How much longer you'll be staying in the bathroom, silly!” Younghoon yelled while he knock bathroom door quite furiously. He pouted. It's been so long since Changmin is in that room filled with tub and soap.

Changmin finally opened the door and stare at Younghoon who is pouting and looking at him like an abandoned puppy. “What’s the difference? You took so long to choose your clothes...,” Changmin sigh, he tighten the towel.

“I suddenly want to pee!” Younghoon immediately enter the bathroom. Changmin let out a sigh from his lungs again. He then smiled at the door. Was Younghoon became like that because he's too nervous? It's their first date after all...

Changmin can't hide his smiling face since morning. He already planned their date, of course. It won't be spectacular though. He prefers to keep it simple. They'll eat cakes and drink coffee in a coffee shop. That's the main idea. He has searched for dating ideas but seeing Younghoon probably get exhausted easily, he decided to go with the simplest idea. If it could be meaningful, then why not?

After he wore a nice casual looking white shirt and black jeans, Younghoon came to the room. Younghoon had finished, actually. He already wore his black hoodie and black jeans. He's been beautiful all the time, even more beautiful with black framed specs on his face.

They stared at each other before laughing like partners in crime. They pointed out on how different they are, from head to toe. Their hair, their eyes, their smile, their clothes, even their height. These boys jokingly decide who's the most handsome between them.

Changmin kept on teasing Younghoon’s nervous face. He looks paler than before when they're about to leave the house. Mrs. Ji left the house this morning for grocery shopping, so Changmin had to lock the front door and hide the keys under a flower pot. They walked side by side to reach the coffee shop.

While walking, Younghoon held his chest and looked at Changmin, frowning, “I think my chest is going to burst. Am I gonna die?”

Changmin shook his head. He laugh as he pat the latter’s head. “No, you won't! It's your first date after all. I should make your heart flutters...”

“Yeah, sure. My first. Oh my god, MY FIRST!” Younghoon freaked out while cupping his own cheeks. He turned his head to Changmin, “you don't seem as nervous as me...”

“It's my first time either though...”

Younghoon's mouth was opened, formed a big 'O' like a koi fish they often found when they were little in a pond at the park. Changmin poked Younghoon's cheek and giggled. “I never said I have ever dated! I'm trying to hide it but oh well-“

They giggled as pinkish blush spread across their cheeks. They tried to brush off the weird romantic air that surrounds them but failed. They kept averting their gaze and stuttered whenever one of them is talking. Changmin would stole a glance at Younghoon but then pretending he's looking at something behind the latter if Younghoon notice him. Rather than awkward, it felt funny for them being like that. They were like high school students in love.

It doesn’t take so long for them to arrive at the coffee shop. It's a modern styled shop. A bell tinkled as they opened the door and the heavenly scent of coffee filled their nose right away. Changmin let Younghoon to choose whatever cake he want meanwhile he order his iced americano and Younghoon’s caramel macchiato. Younghoon- as a sweet tooth baby as ever- picked a chocolate cake and a strawberry shortcake for him alone. Changmin picked a cheesecake for him. He's hungry, but he ordered one only in case Younghoon can't finish his cakes.

Younghoon held the tray with cakes on it meanwhile Changmin held both of their drinks. Younghoon choose to sit on a table near a large clear window. They could see plenty kids playing with skateboards outside since across the coffee shop is a playground for children. Younghoon put down the tray and place his cakes in front if him.

Changmin is still standing, he stared at the happy children outside. He smiled at them and wave a little when a kid catch him staring. Younghoon felt really warm to see Changmin interacting with children. Changmin show his bright smile. “Anyway, here's your caramel-“

Their hands brushed. Their eyes widen as Changmin almost dropped the cup. Fortunately Younghoon managed to catch the cup. Changmin froze for some time. Younghoon supress his laughter as he sit and stare at Changmin's face. “So, you're way more nervous than me, huh?”

“I’m... not!” Changmin sat in front of him. They sips their coffee in silence. Younghoon munched his cake and sigh in delight. The chocolate cake was so good. He was too busy to finish his cake. For Changmin, the sight of Younghoon eating cake is enough to make him happy.

“What do people talk about when they date...,” Younghoon paused to stare at his fork. He look up to Changmin and gasped when he saw Changmin is staring at him fondly. “Why are you staring?”

“Is it wrong? It's our date, anyway.”

Younghoon gulped. He tried to ignore Changmin's stare. He couldn’t though. The more he tried to ignore, the more Changmin stared at him with twinkling eyes. “I'm embarrassed...”

Younghoon hide his face by covering half of it. Changmin grinned, his hands reach for Younghoon's hands and remove them from the latter’s mouth so he could look at Younghoon's face. “I want to see your face.”

Younghoon opened his mouth. He's definitely flushed seeing from his red ears. He laughed it off and continue to eat his second cake. “This date concept is so weird, I'm so embarrassed and my chest hurts. I can't even look at you in the eyes!”

“Relax baby.”

“Baby..., Who?” Younghoon coughed. He glanced at Changmin's eyes that show mischievous gaze. Younghoon’s nose scrunched up, “Silly!”

They continued to tease each other. It even looks like they're doing 'who-could-make-other-blushes-the-most' sort of competition. Their cheeks and ears are red but they won't stop until one of them give up. They shared a lot of giggles, not minding some customers looked at them when they probably laugh too hard.

Turns out Younghoon could finish his cakes alone. Changmin is happy, of course. There's nothing like seeing others eating happily and enjoy their food.

After they finished their drink and cakes, they left the coffee shop. Younghoon suggested them to walk around since they don't want to go home yet don't have any destination to go.

“I’m tired...”

“You’re the one who suggested us to walk around,” Changmin teased the huffing ethereal boy. They walked for an hour, talking about random things and taking pictures with Changmin's phone camera. Younghoon pouted and squatted at the road. He stared at Changmin.

“I didn’t expect I'll get tired this fast!”

Changmin smiled. He squatted in front of Younghoon, he gestured as if he's offering to give Younghoon a piggyback ride. “Let me carry you.”

“I'm not that tired-“ Younghoon frowned but still, he climb to Changmin's back and enjoy getting the ride. He giggled. His legs swung like a happy kid. Changmin sometimes run so Younghoon would laugh and hold onto him tight.

“You’re so light,” Changmin muttered under his breath. Younghoon hummed and still swung his legs.

“What do you expect? I ate porridge and hospital food everyday...”

“Now that you're here, i'm going to feed you with lots of yummy food,” Changmin exclaimed. Younghoon's soft giggles was heard by him, it made Changmin chuckles. He could feel the latter’s heart beating in pretty much fast pace. He continued to run suddenly and stop suddenly to make Younghoon laugh.

Younghoon started to cough. He held his chest, face frowning. It was a pang of pain, he knew slowly but sure it'll worsen if he don't take those things immediately. Those medicine. As much as he hate those yucky pills, he need those to live longer.

He bit his lips. He doesn’t want to end this date too soon. Changmin was still talking about the beach where they used to play. The beach was quite near Changmin’s home. After they walk past the beach, they only have to walk few blocks to reach home. Younghoon could hear the calming sound of wave. He gasped and shook Changmin's shoulder.

“T-the beach! Isn't that the beach where we used to play?" Younghoon awed in amazement when he could finally look at the white sand and blue ocean. The sun wasn’t as bright as noon, in fact it almost set, it made the white sand looked pinkish and the ocean glitters beautifully.

"Yeah..., still pretty as ever.”

"Can we stroll around?"

Eventhough Changmin couldn’t see Younghoon's face. He could imagine the latter, with sparkling eyes and wide smile, asking him to stroll around the beach. Changmin was amused just because the thought, "I thought you're tired."

"I'm being carried by you, I’m okay, silly...,” Younghoon pinched Changmin’s cheek from the back. Changmin nodded as he entered the beach. Whatever this ethereal angel wants, he would fulfil the wish. 

Younghoon enjoyed the breeze, the wonderful scenery, the smell of the sea- the saltiness on air. Wind blew their hair, revealing their foreheads.

“I’ll always remember this sight...,” Younghoon sighed. He held onto Changmin tightly. “Hey, remember when we made a gigantic sand castle?”

“Yeah, we had to leave it because it was getting dark..., then that night, rain poured. Boom, our masterpiece gone,” Changmin talked in a frustrated voice. “We cried, then my mom bake a cake to make us forget about it!”

“Hah-“ Younghoon was about to laugh before he feel it again. That pang again. It's worsen and way more hurts than the first pang. Younghoon held his chest, his face pale. He was really scared until he's shaking. He gripped Changmin’s shoulder tightly.

“Younghoon?”

Changmin was shocked on how strong Younghoon gripped his shoulder. There must be something. He could feel the older is shaking, panting, probably cried. His whine could barely heard by Changmin

“Younghoon? What's wrong?! Shit...,” Changmin couldn’t put the latter down just like that on the sand. Younghoon was shaking really hard.

Younghoon is crying- and Changmin doesn’t know why.

“Younghoon-“

“H-home.”

That whisper came out of Younghoon's mouth. It mixed with heavy breath. The older tried to grasp as much as oxygen he could take. Changmin immediately left the beach. He ran while carrying Younghoon on his back. His mind was full of questions.

What happened? Younghoon laughed just like usual. They chatted, joked, and teased each other today. There's nothing weird. How come Younghoon suddenly cried? Was it his fault?

When they arrived, there's no sign that Mrs. Ji is home. Changmin squatted to take the keys he hid below flower pot. When he hold the keys, his hand trembled.

Changmin was terrified. Really.

He tried his best to slip the keys in and unlock the door with trembling hands. Younghoon’s whine made it worst. Changmin wanted to cry too. His mind was in chaos, he has to lay Younghoon down.

He opened the unlocked door and sprinted to his room, not minding Ghana that welcomed him by barking. Younghoon's grip at Changmin’s shoulder loosened. Probably because he felt safer in home. Changmin laid Younghoon on his bed.

When Changmin saw Younghoon’s face, he was scared to death. The older is crying, his face pale. It has always look pale but right now- it's really pale. Almost as white as paper. His lips trembling, his hand clutched into his chest. Younghoon opened his eyes and looked at Changmin. He pointed his bag.

Changmin quickly fetch the bag for him. Younghoon desperately opened his bag and rummage the inside of it. Changmin was at loss. He can't close his mouth when Younghoon take out piles of medicines. Younghoon's cry became louder.

Younghoon glanced at Changmin. Tears streamed down his beautiful face. The younger didn’t know what to say, he didn’t even know what kind of expression he wear right now.

“Youngho-“

“Please don't ask anything.”

The ethereal boy sniffled and wipe some of his tears before swallowing medicine he need. Changmin frowned, he took the medicine from Younghoon's hand. “You’re sick! Why don't you tell me?!”

“Can't you just leave me alone?!” Younghoon yelled. He burst into tears again. The older threw the empty water bottle to Changmin. It makes quite loud sound since it hit the Changmin's chest. They both stared at each other, one was crying and the other was at loss.

“Yeah, fine,” Changmin muttered under his breath. Younghoon covered his face with blanket. The younger sighed, he walked outside his room and close the door slowly.

Younghoon glanced at the door. He cried some more which make his eyes red and swollen. He banged his head on his knees. “God, I want to be healthy. Please. Please. Please...”

.  
.

“I want to go out,” Younghoon pouted at Changmin. The younger who is reading comic online stare at the latter. Younghoon waited for Changmin to answer and hugged the fluffy pillow he always like since his first entering Changmin's room.

“You sure?”

“I am! It's been three days since our date. Let's go to the beach,” Younghoon whined as he show some aegyo to make Changmin nod. The younger was silent for a moment. What if ’that’ happen again?

It was terrifying that both of them didn’t talk about it ever again. Younghoon didn’t seem want to brought it up anyway. Changmin glanced at the window, “It’s hot outside...”

“And that's why I want to go to the beach, silly...,” Younghoon jumped to Changmin's wardrobe. He opened it and show the younger his cute Hawaii looking shirt. “Let's go!”

Changmin shut his phone and nodded and proceed to go downstairs to take 'some things'. Younghoon used that time to change his clothes. He giggled seeing his reflection in the mirror. He has been wanting to wear this shirt he decide to bought when he shopped before going to Incheon.

Changmin came back to the room, smiled at Younghoon's back because the older was still posing in front of the mirror. He could be a really gorgeous model. Younghoon would make all things he wore looking expensive and fancy.

“Ah! You scared me!” Younghoon yelled at Changmin when he realized Changmin was standing beside him. The younger snorted as he gave Younghoon the sunscreen he's been holding. Younghoon left the room while he use the sunscreen. He waited for Changmin in the living room.

“Where will you two go?”

“The beach...,” Younghoon smiled to Mrs. Ji. He glanced at the stairs. Changmin took so long just to change his clothes. The ethereal boy turned his head to Mrs. Ji. “Um, may I ask for a paper and pen?”

“Sure. There are some on the desk over there,” Mrs. Ji pointed to the desk where Ghana loves to sleep on it. Younghoon nodded. He held the paper in his hands, lips bitten and sigh escaped his lungs. Younghoon proceed to write something on it.

To: Ji Changmin

.  
.

“Ready?”

“Yup.”

Changmin swung the bucket filled with toys to make sand castle, he brought it with him to the beach. It's hot outside. The younger force Younghoon to wear a hat or else he would be sulky and cancel their plan to the beach. Younghoon is happy, since the hat fits his Hawaii looking shirt. He held the umbrella on his right hand and the beach mat on his left hand.

The ethereal boy hummed, like a little boy. The beach wasn’t packed up. In fact, there are only few teenagers there, playing volleyball. They decided to sit quite far from those teenagers. Changmin picked a place near a bench, it made Younghoon laughed.

“Isn’t this the same spot where we used to make that gigantic sand castle?”

“I'm surprised you remember,” Changmin grinned. He put down the bucket filled with toys.

Younghoon spread the mat and put the umbrella near it. He jumped to the mat, sat comfortably, and point to the bucket. “Let’s recreate!”

Changmin followed the latter’s command. He brought the emptied bucket with him to the sea, to fill it with water. Younghoon wait while he play with the toys. They’re cute, and could be used to shape sand. He giggled when he saw Changmin back with the bucket filled of water, because his face was really cute when he accidentally spill some water to the sand while walking.

“Here, here!” Younghoon patted the mat, asking Changmin to sit right beside him. They started to recreate the gigantic sand castle. Both of them were silent for a moment. Sound of the waves could be heard by them. Calming.

“What are you looking at?”

Younghoon sighed and turned his head. Changmin smiled at him. The younger thought Younghoon was daydreaming, since he just stare at the sea. The ethereal boy, answered with his soft voice, “The sea.”

They went silent for a bit, until Younghoon gave his cheeky smile to Changmin. “I just thought, ah, this is really my home. This is where I belong to-”

“We’re at the beach, though...”

Younghoon shook his head and look down, “Home is not a place, it's a feeling. And you, Ji Changmin, where my heart belongs to-” His hand moving in fast pace to create the base of the sand castle. Younghoon looked up, to find Changmin's face was really near with his. Just a few inch more, just move his head forward, they could've kissed.

Younghoon leaned forward, which made Changmin sigh softly. The younger didn’t move.

They shared a sweet kiss.

It was short and simple, full of feelings. As if when their lips met, they understand each other. Things that were unsaid about their feeling, turns out their love for each other is mutual. Even if it was only childhood crush, even when they had to wait for years, even when they don't even expect they'll meet again, their love is mutual.

Changmin covered his blushing cheeks. It was really natural and surprising. He peek at Younghoon that touched his lips, as surprised as Changmin even though he's the one that leaned forward. The latter’s ears were red.

Minutes later were spent with them being awkward with each other. Younghoon unconsciously pull his hand by surprise whenever Changmin's hand brushed his. Just a little touch, and he'll squeal. It was funny, so Changmin did it on purpose, again and again. Younghoon would squeal and pull his hand, or his eyes would widened.

The older pouted, “Silly~”

The sand castle was half made. Younghoon clapped his hand happily. Changmin laughed because Younghoon clapped just like a seal. He played with the toys and make a lot of shapes. Changmin stare at him. This boy is the cutest baby ever.

“Younghoon? Your face is pale...,” Changmin pointed at the latter’s face. Younghoon tilted his head.

“I don't think I'm sick...,” Younghoon shook his head then smiled. There's nothing wrong with his body since morning. It's the truth. “I’m going to be okay.”

Changmin nodded. Younghoon stared at the sea once again, he then show his puppy eyes to Changmin which the latter responded by raising his eyebrows. “What does this angel wants for now?”

“The sea is so beautiful today. Sparkling, like tons of diamonds were thrown there. I felt like it’s calling for me! Actually, I want to swim but that's impossible,” Younghoon lean closer to Changmin. “So, I want to dip my feet. Do it with me, pretty please?”

“Go on. I'll catch up later.”

Younghoon got up and jumpy walking to the sea. He giggled seeing tiny crabs on the sand. He dipped his feet. It was warm. Was it because of the sunshine?

He played with his toes. His feet slowly sank to the wet sand. Younghoon bent his body to see the white sea foam. Beautiful. It reminds him with a mermaid fairy tale, where the princess would turn into sea foam and disappear if she failed to take the prince’s heart. Back then, Younghoon didn’t understand. Why would she sacrifice her life? There are plenty of guys out there. She's willing to die just to meet her love.

Younghoon bit his lips. Now he understand why. She loves him. Just like Younghoon loves Changmin. They're similar, they just want to meet their loved ones. Younghoon walked further from the shore.

It was when, his chest hurt. He blinked a few times. Younghoon froze, he took his pills already this morning. He held his chest, squeezing his shirt because he's scared.

He is scared. It's true that he often experience this kind of thing, this sudden pang on his chest. But it's different. He's with Changmin, he's far from his meds and from hospital. His eyes became teary. He's so scared that he cried just like that.

Younghoon- still holding onto his chest, his legs weak and when a wave came, he fell. The wave wasn’t even big. Younghoon fell- drowning, his entire body wet. He could feel the saltiness of the sea, his eyes hurts. He chokes, and cried. He'll end up as a sea foam, won't he? He'll disappear and the prince will find a new lover.

He's in a fairy tale, the one that doesn't have a happy ending.

Changmin was about to join Younghoon when he realized Younghoon fell. Drown actually, from his view. He ran, leaving footprints on the sand. He called Younghoon's name, but the latter seems unconscious. The younger tried to reach Younghoon.

Changmin was scared to death. His thought wandered, from the most optimist things until the most pessimist ones. Younghoon is okay. Younghoon is drown. Younghoon will be saved, but he could've drown further. Younghoon will give him a smile tomorrow, or was today the last?

Changmin was too scared to the point he can't get his voice out. His streaming tears were the ones that explained everything he felt. His hands shaking. He's scared to lose Younghoon. He's not ready and would never be. At last when he reached Younghoon's body, he immediately pulled the latter and bring him back to the beach.

Younghoon didn’t give any respond. He fainted. Changmin couldn’t stop his crying. He tried to lay down Younghoon, give him CPR, check his breathing and pulse repeatedly but nothing happened. He carried Younghoon then ran back to his home.

They left their belongings. After all, it's only a bucket, a beach mat, an umbrella, and toys. Younghoon is way more important. Changmin kept on sniffling as he ran back home. He has been scared things like this would happen, and it's even worse than three days ago.

He shouted to asked his mom to open the front door. Mrs. Ji was surprised and tell Changmin to lay Younghoon on the bed as fast as possible. It's going to be bad for Younghoon if he didn’t change his wet and dirty clothes, so Changmin need to change his first. Mrs. Ji quickly contacted Mrs. Kim about her son's condition.

Changmin changed Younghoon’s clothes and throw the dirty ones to the washing machine. Changmin decided to wipe the latter’s skin with a soft wet towel. He did that with teary eyes. It hurts to see the sweet and fluffy Younghoon became like this. He wiped slowly, scared if the towel isn't as soft as he thought. He wouldn’t dare to leave a mark or hurt Younghoon. Mrs. Ji entered the room, making Changmin look at her.

“I’ve called Mrs. Kim,” his mother looked at him. “She’ll be here around tomorrow morning and bring Younghoon back to Seoul.”

Changmin nodded. He turned his head at Younghoon and held the latter’s hand. His lips let out a whisper, “Okay.”

Changmin didn’t leave Younghoon’s side at all except for using the toilet. He kept his eyes open. Younghoon looks like he's in deep sleep. Changmin would cry every hour, asking him to wake up. His eyes are puffy red.

The lean boy stared at Younghoon. He whispered, “Angel, please wake up?”

Silence. Changmin couldn’t help but to cry some more. His heart aches. He noticed that Younghoon was pale before, he should’ve suggest they leave. Was he wrong for letting Younghoon to dip his feet? Was it his fault?

He blamed himself for that.

.  
.

Younghoon opened his eyes slowly. He felt dizzy as he tried to sit. He stand still for a minute and gasp after he realized what happened to him. He held his chest, checking if there’s something wrong.

He coughed. His eyes glance to the clock on the wall. It's 6 in the morning. Which means he drown yesterday. Younghoon sighed. That was one of the worst moment in his life.

He smiled a little at the sleeping boy. Changmin slept on a chair beside him. He brushed Changmin's hair slowly. This guy must've stayed up late, judging from his swollen eyes. Probably cried so much until he's tired. Younghoon bent his body to kiss his locks.

“Rest well, Changmin. I'm sure you woke up all night..., thank you for saving me,” the older mumbled. He kept on brushing Changmin's soft and smooth locks.

He stared at Changmin's cheeks. It looks squishy and so soft- he chew his lips, he shouldn’t pinch it, Changmin might wake up.

Younghoon sighed, “Changmin..., I really am glad to visit you. I don't have that much friend because I'm always hospitalised. Being in Incheon with you is what I have wished since years ago,” Younghoon stopped for a moment because Changmin scratched his head.

He waited, but the younger didn’t give any sign that he's awake.

“I always thought of you as my home. When doctor said I’ll be okay for weeks, I ask mom to bring me to Incheon. I didn’t expect my heart is getting weakened here. I suppose it's because you always make my heart beats so fast, it's been festive for these past days.”

Younghoon giggled. “I don't regret anything, so I hope you won't blame yourself, okay?”

He stared at Changmin fondly.

“I wish we could meet with me in better condition. Or, I didn’t sick at all. I really wish I don't need those meds. They're bitter, yuck.”

Changmin moved his head, making Younghoon startled. He's asleep though. Clock’s ticking sound filled the room.

The older went silent for minutes before continue to talk, “I love you. So much. More than you could imagine. I love you to the moon and back, or even, to the furthest planet and back.”

Somehow his eyes are getting hot.

“I feel like a sea foam that could disappear, become one with the wave anytime. I know I won't have a happy ending...”

Changmin felt a hand brushing his hair. He opened his eyes look up at Younghoon. This angel smiled at him. Changmin’s heart melt, at the moment he forget all of his worries. “Good morning, angel. Feel better?” 

“Uh huh...,” Younghoon nodded. “Good morning, prince.”

Changmin sighed in relief. He poked Younghoon's cheek. It's real. It's not a dream. Younghoon is now okay, though he's still pale and weak. Younghoon yawned before laying his body again, this time- he faced Changmin’s face and he held his hand.

Changmin played with Younghoon's finger. He talk in a soft and sad tone. He gazes at those lean fingers, “I’m sorry for everything, I can't protect you...”

“It’s not your fault, hm? Look at me,” Younghoon squeezed Changmin's fingers softly. “Back then, before I drown- my chest hurts again, it was really bad. I lost control of my body. It's not your fault at all. Now i'm safe and sound, thanks to you.”

Changmin smiled, he let Younghoon played with his hand. Comparing their hand's size and their nails. “Anyway, your mother will be here soon. You’re going to Seoul again. My mom already arrange your clothes and bags, she put downstairs.”

“Aw, suck. I'm going to be hospitalised again...,” Younghoon pouted. Eventhough he said it with a cute baby voice, he can't hide the sadness in his eyes. Far from home, accompanied with hospital's scent and hospital's food. Had to lay on his bed all day, nurses and doctors will come to his room and he had to swallow all medicines he need.

“I'll visit.”

“Oh, you don't need to. I don't want you to see me laying on hospital bed, looking all weak and pale. You got lots of thing to do, right? College stuff,” Younghoon shook his head. Changmin puffed his cheeks, nodding in defeat.

Mrs. Ji knocked on the door. “Younghoon, your mother is here!”

The older and the younger exchanged their gaze. Younghoon got up and remove the blanket that has been covering him.

“Can you get up?” Changmin offered his hand which Younghoon gladly accept. The younger helped Younghoon to walk downstairs since the latter doesn’t want to be carried.

Downstairs, Mrs. Kim hurriedly hug Younghoon. It's visible that her eyes are red. Younghoon mumbled something to his mother’s shoulder. They hugged until Mrs. Kim let Younghoon go. She already put his bags and belongings into the car.

It's time to go.

Changmin smiled sadly. Younghoon is hugging and saying goodbye to Mrs. Ji. She cupped the latter’s cheeks, wishing him to be healthier and happier. When Mrs. Ji finally let go of Younghoon’s cheeks, Changmin could feel his tears falling. The older hugged him immediately.

Changmin sniffled. He doesn’t want to lose Younghoon. After those things happened, he felt like Younghoon could disappear anytime.

“If I say I'll comeback again, will you still believe it?” Younghoon whispered.

Will I believe it? Changmin can't get his words out of his throat.

“If I were you, I wouldn't believe it,” Younghoon sighed. He forced a smile on his lips, “This probably is our last meeting, thank you for everything, really. I love you, but it's time for me to leave.”

Changmin could feel his heart dropped to his stomach. He shook his head vigorously, “It’s not the last-“

“For the last time, I'm leaving,” Younghoon said those words like normal people going outside their house. Yet it feels different. As if he's saying goodbye forever.

“You'll come back, r-right?” Changmin’s hand began to shake. His heart aches hearing the word 'last'. Is there really no next time? Their next game, their next joke, their next kiss?

Their next 'I love you'?

“Changmin, I'm leaving...,” Younghoon smiled. The older wiped Changmin’s tears with his lean, beautiful fingers.

“Take care...,” Changmin finally mumbled something out of his lips. Younghoon nodded. He let go of their hug.

Just like that.

They parted again. Like years ago. But this time Younghoon didn’t promise to come back. This time they hugged and Younghoon said his last goodbye. Changmin felt really empty when the car slowly disappear from his sight. This week has been fun. Now the house is quiet, without Younghoon’s clap and laughter.

He hid his tears from his mother and ran upstairs, to his room. There’s a scent of Younghoon everywhere. On his bed, on the chair, on the blanket, and at his wardrobe. He sighed. Why is he becoming crybaby all of sudden?

He decided to make his bed. Again, his heart aches when he remember the first night Younghoon came. The older couldn’t sleep, so he asked Changmin to sleep beside him. His hands shaking. He folded his blanket and proceed to open his wardrobe to put it in.

The place where Younghoon used to put clothes is empty. He bit his lips and put the blanket inside. He realized there's a folded paper, right at the empty place where Younghoon’s clothes used to be placed. He furrowed his brows.

Did Younghoon left something?

He took the paper and opened it. He gasped and cover his mouth. There, a handwriting of Younghoon. A letter for him.

To: Ji Changmin  
I'm writing this when you change your clothes when we'll go to the beach.  
These days have been so fun! I'm so glad I met you after years. Your appearance might be different, but your soft and kind heart is still the same.  
I'm not in good condition, I need medicine to live longer. I'm so sorry not to tell you before. But I want you to treat me like there's nothing wrong. I don't like to be seen as a sick person. My heart is weak, I know. It affects my entire body.  
Doctor said I'll be okay for two weeks. I took this chance to go to Incheon, to meet you. It's all gamble. I might suffer or die here. Because doctor is not hundred percent always right. They told me, a month ago, that i only have a week left. They’re wrong. Because until now, i'm still breathing and alive. Isn't it magical?  
When my chest suddenly hurt days ago, I was really scared. I'm so scared I'll leave you. I love you. I never really said this before, but I love you, with all of my heart. I wish I could date you. Like normal people.  
Changmin, I'm aware that my time is decreasing each day. When you read this, I must’ve left your house. How I wish I could stay beside you forever. Because you’re my home. You're the only one where I can happily shout, 'I'm home!'  
Thanks for being my home. I love you.  
P.S. Good luck with your college! Fighting!

Changmin’s room is now filled by his heartbroken cry. He repeatedly calling his childhood crush's name, as if it's a magic spell that could bring Younghoon back. His tears fell as if they were waterfall.

Younghoon is his home. Younghoon, his sweet Younghoon. He buried his face to the pillow. Hoping that when he wake up, the latter would pinch his cheeks like this past week, greeting him with a cheeky smile on his lips.

.  
.

Younghoon never, even once lied. He hide things but he never lied. The older once said- on the night when they played truth or dare, he said that he's an angel.

It's true. And now, after years battling with his sickness-

He's home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello? It's Purry again!  
> I was bored so I made a remake of my old fic, I changed some things here and there so it'd fit bbangkyu!
> 
> Personally, I really love this story. It was one of my best work. No one read old fics though, so I'm remaking this story as bbangkyu to keep it alive. I cried while writing, and it'd be a success if I make you cry too!
> 
> Kudos and comments are very appreciated hehe
> 
> I'm @purryaong on twitter  
> DM always open, I'm not scary, you see, I'm fluffypurry.. FLUFFY...
> 
> Oh the irony, my username is fluffypurry while my fics mostly angsty
> 
> See you on my next fic!!


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